Ride
by NightcatMau
Summary: Valkyrie knows things are changing when Skulduggery suddenly acts like his old self again. But what are those things, exactly? Valkyrie, obviously. I haven't written in over a year, so don't expect much. Valduggery.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, the Dead Men or Ghastly. Val is in her, what, 40s, I guess? And the story is AU with element of the first nine books and maybe a smattering of the tenth, which I haven't read yet. We'll see.

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I'd been depressed, there was no other word for it. We had no cases and we weren't spending the time together we used to. Well, maybe I'd been _bored_ and not depressed, it would explain my excitement over the fidget spinner I'd gotten at the local petrol station. That morning I was concentrating on it at the kitchen table, manipulating the air so it would keep spinning. I started to grin, it was a silly toy, but it was a _fun_ silly toy.

I made it spin faster, mesmerized by the blur of black and silver before me, then yelped as it rose into the air unexpectedly. The spinner shot forward and I looked up to watch Skulduggery catch it deftly in one gloved hand. He balanced it perfectly on one fingertip, cocking his head as he stared at the spinning toy. "Well, well. Good morning, Valkyrie. Nice to see I've been replaced by a fidget spinner." He said, clearly amused.

"But- No! I mean, you-" I sputtered as he pocketed the spinner. _My_ spinner. I wanted to tell him I cared, that I loved him and had missed him. But I wasn't that stupid. "Am I getting that back?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe. Let a boy buy you breakfast?" I didn't argue that I'd already eaten. I'd only had coffee and somehow Skulduggery just knew. "Well?" He asked and I managed a nod.

I got up, feeling strange. It wasn't like Skulduggery to just drop in, not anymore. I wondered if we had a case, but didn't ask as I grabbed my jacket. "Are you feeling OK?" I asked as he got the front door for me, then mentally kicked myself. Of course he wasn't feeling OK. My partner was clearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown if he was being nice to me, but I swear he managed an actual grin.

"Of course I am, my dearest combat accessory." He said as he ushered me to the Bentley, getting my door. He got in and glanced at me. "Seat belt. I'm feeling extremely fine this wondrous morning." He teased and I laughed. He was like his old self, teasing me and being silly. I'd missed this part of him so much.

Skulduggery flicked the radio on as we drove, he even rolled the windows down and it dawned on me he wasn't wearing his disguise. His gaze flicked over to me then back to the road. "I wondered when you'd notice. Mortals will see a perfectly normal man. Well, provided I don't take off my hat. I had it enchanted, you see."

I looked at him. "Um, OK." I said doubtfully, but it appeared to be the truth. None of drivers of the cars we passed gave Skulduggery so much as a second glance. "Why didn't you just do that before?" I asked and he shrugged.

"A man should always take pride in his appearance, Valkyrie. Besides, Ghastly just learned how to work with the material." He added and I laughed. I missed all our friends, it been ages since we'd seen the Dead Men all together and I wished for a minute they'd all be waiting for us at breakfast, but as we drove I was with Skulduggery and that was enough to make me happy.

* * *

 **My! Whatever could the pair be up to now? And no I don't know where the Dead Men came from.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Skulduggery. Story is in Val's point of view, obviously. Thanks go out to Deep In The Night for reviewing and following.

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Skulduggery continued being nice as we arrived at a diner. Getting the door of the Bentley for me with the briefest tip of his hat. "Skulduggery!" I hissed, but he just chuckled in amusement. I wondered at that point if he'd gone entirely insane and we were exposing magic to the world, but as we entered the diner, no one gave him a second glance.

He smiled as we slid into a booth by a window so we could, I reckoned, see the Bentley. At least that hadn't changed. Skulduggery slid his collar down slightly, and I saw a flash of bone imprinted with sigils. "Enchanted hats. And you fell for it too." He said cheerfully. "Still looking for octopus people, Valkyrie?"

I wanted to slap the grin right off his face. "I was twelve!"

"And yet you believed me, you'll believe anything I tell you, won't you?" He purred dreamily in his velvety voice. "Santa Claus is real, and he works for the NSA." He said brightly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're in a good mood." I said fondly, kind of forgetting I didn't do fond because it freaked him out, but Skulduggery seemed OK with it. He just prodded me gently to order whatever I wanted and I fought the natural eyebrow raise that would normally come with him being generous. He loved me in his own way, and if Skulduggery was crazy he needed someone with him to protect him.

When my burger and fries came his gloved hand shot out and I watched in fascination as he snagged a fry. _Oh Lord, he's really lost it._ I thought as he raised it to his teeth. But then he was chewing, and it was gone. I stared at him in shock. "Uh-" I stammered and Skulduggery tapped his collarbone briefly.

"The option was always there." He admitted. "I just gave up on a lot of things for a very long time. Call it penance if you like. But you've taught me someone can be an absolutely horrible human being and still need to eat, so I though, why not?" I glowered at him and Skulduggery just laughed.

* * *

 **Sorry, I know it's super short, but I was in the midst of writing when the phone rang and my whole day slid sideways.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Erskine or the Dead Men. A huge amount of thanks go out to the following people for reviewing: **jkjxdancedance** , _Deep in the Night_ , **TheSkeletonsBride** , **mysteryHuntress** and **thesparrowfliessouthforwinter.** Thank you all for the follows as well!

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We'd stopped at Ghastly's after the diner and when Skulduggery excused himself to put his order in the Bentley, Ghastly looked at me. "He's gone completely insane." He said it as a statement not a question and when I nodded in agreement Ghastly sighed. "Well, we know he won't hurt you. He was at his worst when you rescued him from the Faceless Ones, and he didn't hurt you then, he loves you too much for that."

"I know." I managed over the lump forming in my throat. I was starting to feel sorry for myself because it wasn't what I'd hoped was happening and Ghastly seemed to read my mind.

"Do you love him? Are you in love with him?" He asked as he saw to tea.

"Yes." I admitted.

"Good. He's going to need that love, Valkyrie. He can never love you the same way in return, and it would be cruel to ask it of him. He's vulnerable right now and he's come to you for help. I know it's a lot of responsibility but Skulduggery trusts you. And he does love you, in his own way." He added gently.

"I know he does. I'm just scared for him, Ghastly. I admitted. "Could he be locked away, is there even a place like that for mages?"

"He could, if he didn't have you taking care of him. But he does, so don't worry. Erskine will turn a blind eye as much as he can, though I'm sure word has gotten back to him by now, it always does, somehow." He looked up as the bell to the shop rang and Skulduggery rejoined us.

"Well, why do you both look guilty?" He asked, cocking his skull to one side.

"Valkyrie wanted something hideously expensive and I told her no." Ghastly said flatly. Skulduggery looked at him. I knew he'd spotted the lie when he swung his skull to me.

"We're worried for you, but I guess you know that." I said and he nodded.

"This is what I get for not shooting someone in recent memory. Would you both feel better if I just started hitting people at random?" He asked, clearly amused. "I could hit Ghastly." He offered and we both laughed in response. He was OK, he was insane, but functional insane if he was teasing us and not having mood swings.

Ghastly sighed in relief. "This actually isn't the worst I've ever seen you." He said, smiling and Skulduggery nodded agreeably.

Ghastly looked at me. "If he'd gone dangerous insane you, I and the rest of the Dead Men would be hunting him down by now. He's got a list, you see, of people he really hates."

I looked at both of them. Ghastly wasn't joking. If Skulduggery had truly lost it a lot of mages who likely deserved it would have disappeared. I just didn't add that I would have helped him make them disappear.

* * *

 **Val is one loyal combat accessory!**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly or Valkyrie. Valduggery ahead! Thanks go out to **thesparrowfliessouthforwinter** and **Deep in the Night** for reviewing!

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I bolted awake in my seat and Skulduggery gave me a side glance. He'd suggested a drive, just the two of us, after Ghastly's shop. "Nice of Ghastly to lie for me, even nicer for you to swallow it." He said and I looked at him in confusion, wondering if he'd gone dangerously insane. "I' fine, Valkyrie. He just saw me hesitating and must have reckoned I'd changed my mind about saying anything."

"I'm sorry?" I said, utterly confusing and he sighed. Then it clicked, getting my door, taking me to breakfast, the mysterious package from Ghastly's. "Are you saying you love me? This is what you act like when you're in love?"

He shot me an annoyed look. "Some people find me charming when I'm in love." He sniffed.

"You've never been this nice to me before, I'd thought you'd gone fruit loops, sorry." I said and he laughed.

"I'm always nice to you, nicer than you deserve."

"What?" I yelled.

"You know, you tend to yell too much, I don't think I love you after all." He teased and I punched him in the arm. Hard. "Ow! And you hit like a girl." He jeered so I hit him a second time. Harder. Skulduggery yelped and the Bentley veered wildly. He pulled to the side of the road and glared at me whilst he rubbed his arm. "Evil girl."

"Woman, though you're so old I can forgive you the mistake." I said sweetly.

"You can what?" He rasped. "You ungrateful female! It's _me_ that loves you, me!" A furious look came over his skeletal features and Skulduggery grabbed me by the lapels, hauling me forward as much as my belt would allow. Then his teeth were on my lips and I felt myself melting into his embrace.

Skulduggery growled contentedly as he pulled back, hat askew. "Now then, let's get some things straight. You are mine, you belong to me. If I ever see you with another man I'll shoot him."

"Are girls OK?" I asked and he glared at me. "You do know men don't own women, right? And since when do you own me?" I argued back. This was fun.

"I'm over four centuries old, Valkyrie. You're mine, no arguments." I looked at him. He was serious. It was demeaning and sexist, but he was serious.

"You're really forceful and old-fashioned, you know that?" I asked dryly and I swore he grinned at me as he let me go and saw to his hat and tie in the rear view mirror.

"Yet you still love me. Admit it, in me, it's attractive." He said smugly. I opened my mouth to retort and could think of nothing because he was right. Somehow in Skulduggery it was attractive. He shot me a smug look and started the Bentley up humming happily to himself.

It was then I realized I was in love with the strangest man on the planet.

* * *

 **What?**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, China or Eliza. I also don't own anyone else who may be referred to. Same day, Val is still in her 40s, still in her POV. I read the new book. Very mad right now. I want the characters I actually _like_ back. Anyhow, thanks go out to **thesparrowfliessouthforwinter** and **Deep in the Night** for the reviews.

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We'd pulled up to his house, and Skulduggery was saying something about coffee and I nodded absently. I followed him in and watched as he fussed over the preparation, my mind reeling. Skulduggery had forgotten one thing I'd remembered on the way there, he'd had _loads_ of girlfriends, heaps and heaps of them. And it had never turned out well for a single one of them, ever. And, I suppose, I knew I was no different, he'd be with me until he was bored or betrayed me or- "Hey now." His gloved hand was on my shoulder. "Second thoughts?" His voice was concerned.

"Yeah, kind of." I said and he sat across from me, taking his fedora off and placing it on the table. "I don't want to be another one in a line that stretches on forever, Skulduggery. I know you must mean well, you must even believe your own lies, but each one before me was The One too, wasn't she?"

He went perfectly still, like I'd hit him, and I felt terrible, but I had a right to know. The shadows swirled deep in his skull, shadows I knew another woman had helped put there. And that was just it, wasn't it? His past would always haunt us. Well, haunt me. I wondered if he still loved them all, reckoned he must at some level and felt myself shutting down. "Is that what you think?" He asked at last. "That I'm a heartless womanizer and after I've had enough of you I'll send you packing? You're as thick as a brick, you know that?" I blinked.

"I used a lot of women, yes. It's a thing men like me do, but I was getting used in return, keep that in mind. It was never about love, no matter what they may have thought." He sighed. "Maybe I fooled myself into thinking they were what I deserved, but I think I deserve a damn sight better, don't you?"

" _Definitely_ better than China, or Eliza." I agreed, nodding, unable to keep the smile from my face.

"Yes, just like you deserve better than vampires or boys with stupid hair, but all is forgiven." Skulduggery said serenely.

"We don't talk about vampires!" I roared and he just chuckled and got up for our coffee, ruffling my hair fondly as he passed. "Did you ever date any guys?" I asked, and he shrugged, his back to me

"Could well have and not known it. I'm not adverse to it, I'm just a man myself you see, and I know how we think." I had nothing to say to that, just laughed. Skulduggery knew I was open myself and we didn't make a big deal of it. It was accepted in the magical community, well, in most of it. "Women are off limits to you now too, dear." He said smugly.

"So no open relationship?" I raised an eyebrow. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I am." He admitted. "I'm greedy, hypocritical and selfish, and those are some of my finer virtues." He was absolutely preening. "But if I'm not enough for you, if you know you'll stray, say something now before this goes any further."

* * *

 **Dun dun dun! What will Val say? Is she ready to commit or will she play the field? Stay tuned to find out!**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. I wanted this chapter to be much lighter, but I'm still recovering from the new novel.

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I looked at Skulduggery and he looked back at me, waiting for an answer. "Are _you_ capable? Will you be faithful, or is this just a rule you're applying to _me_?" I asked and he looked stricken. "I'm sorry, Skulduggery, but I've had decades of your unwelcome stories of having duped or charmed women. I don't want to be one more casualty." I surprised myself, but I was being honest for once.

"Today, a day like today where you said you loved me? It's all I've ever wanted. But somehow in my mind you were another man, I guess, a faithful one and your past was just _gone_. I can't belive how naïve and stupid I was." The words were tumbling out and I couldn't help them. But he had a right to know how many doubts I had. I didn't trust him to be faithful, not a bit.

"Where does that leave us then? Are we even partners, friends anymore?" He asked and it was my turn to feel like a sledgehammer had hit me, but only for a moment. Skulduggery always did this, guilted me into what he wanted.

"Don't do that. Don't make this something it isn't. You're not trustworthy, Skulduggery. And if you thought it was to your advantage you'de be having this conversation with another woman, not me." I shot awake in the Bentley and Skulduggery looked over at me.

"You fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake you. Nightmare?" He asked. I nodded, not able to speak and he sighed. "I'm giving you nightmares, the idea of being with me?" He asked so gently that I wanted to cry. I nodded again. "I regret now every story I ever told you. I made a lot of them up you know, to impress you."

I frowned at him. "Yeah, women _love_ hearing their partner is a callous womanizer. Makes them feel just _great_ about being women."

"Point taken. So, if I scare you, if you don't want to commit, it's OK." Skulduggery sighed again and stared out the windscreen. "This is how it goes, you know? A man has all the fun he wants and then it catches up with him when it really matters."

I looked at him, he wasn't joking. "Skulduggery, this is a bit off-topic, but why can't I see your façade?"

"Ah, that." He said, a slight trace of tears in his voice. "Isn't it obvious, Valkyrie? I never wanted to hide myself from you, I didn't think I had to."

"Yet you drop life-shattering bombshells in my lap on a regular basis." I said dryly. "And expect me to accept them."

"Because you're the only one I can come to like that, Valkyrie. I trust you not to abandon me, no matter how dark things get. You rescue me, I rescue you, remember?"

"Until the end." I agreed. He looked fragile then, vulnerable, it scared me. He was coming to me again, putting his trust in me. All I had to do was give him the same amount of trust in return.

* * *

 **And just to be mean, I'm leaving it there.**


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Valkyrie or Xena. Only Val owns Xena. And she'll slap you silly for looking at her tiny puppy wrong. Thanks go out to **mysteryHuntress** for reviewing!

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I sighed, then looked at Skulduggery. We were parked in front of his house, and he was waiting for my reply. "You know we could both get hurt really badly, right?" I asked and he nodded. "That maybe one of us will crack under the pressure of being more than partners and we'll destroy everything we've ever had together?" I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I teased him.

Skulduggery laughed. "You're a strange girl. Woman, whatever. Coffee?" He offered and at my nod we went inside. Skulduggery busied himself with the coffee, and said, almost casually. "So, where were you planning on living? It would be more practical if you were here, I'd miss you if you weren't, and I promise to be a perfect gentleman."

"Wow. That almost sounded civilized."

"I am dashing, charming, a sharp dresser and devilishly handsome. But I am _not_ civilized." He growled and I swallowed my laugh. This was fun, this was how we used to be before the years had thundered past, carrying the happy Skulduggery I used to know away with them.

"My mistake." I managed, trying not to laugh and he tilted his head in a grin at me as he brought our coffee over. "You do know the Dead Men aren't going to like this, right?" I asked and he shrugged as he sat.

"They'll live. It's true there's the age difference..."

"But you'll grow up some day, Skulduggery, I believe in you." I teased and he shot me a glare.

"You don't find it creepy, my age then? Or the fact that I'm a living skeleton?"

"Not really. I am an adult, mages just treat me like I'm not because we're supposed to have centuries to live. And that's stupid if you really think about it. If I was mortal my kids could be adults by now."

"Ah, but you're not mortal, are you?" He asked. "You live in a world where living for centuries is the norm. And it changes people, Valkyrie, it does."

"Are you calling me a child?" I frowned. Was he backing out of the relationship already?

"No, just pointing out what a terrible person your partner will be seen as. You'll be forgiven as being too young to know any better. I'll be the one hauled aside and lectured about my age and yours."

"The people who care will understand and that's all that matters." I lied. We both knew Skulduggery was going to get the brunt of it. Neither of us was well-liked and I reckoned some people thought we deserved one another as fitting punishment, but at least or friends would understand, even if I knew they'd want to kill Skulduggery at first.

My mobile rang and I jumped before answering it. "Hello?" I asked.

"Well, hello to you too, Valkyrie." Ghastly's comforting voice rumbled in my ear. "Before you say anything, the Dead Men already know where you are and with who and why. We like looking after you." I gulped and said nothing. "We also don't plan to kill Skulduggery, unless you ask us to, really nicely."

"You're not mad?"

"You two were inevitable. You'd both be basket cases if either of you had chosen someone else." I thought I heard Tanith squeal happily in the background, and then heard her yammering for the phone. She came on the line, as hyper as ever.

"So, did you kiss him yet? You did, right?"

"Well, technically, he kissed me." I began and she squealed again, causing me to hold my mobile away from my ear.

"Chase him, Val. Guys love that." She enthused and I watched Skulduggery, who had heard her perfectly well, facepalm.

"Um, I don't think Skulduggery's into being chased." I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Nonsense, chase and pounce! Do you want some advice on-" I snapped my mobile shut before the mental scarring could set in, but of course it was too late.

"She has no boundaries, none." I managed and Skulduggery looked properly mortified. "Sorry you had to hear that." I said and he nodded. She'd been willing to give me advice, I didn't even want to think of what kind, with him in earshot. I sometimes wondered if Tanith fell off ceilings and landed on her head a lot.

"Well, at least we have the Dead Men and Tanith on our side. Will you break the news to her or shall I that there will be no wee skeltons about?" He looked amused.

"Aw, but wee skeletons are cute though." I said fondly and he snorted good naturedly.

"Skeletons don't reproduce. You _do_ know that right?"

"I know, but we could adopt. If we wanted to, I mean. We have our baby girl now, come to think of it." I whistled and Xena, who'd slept through our arrival home awakened, her tail thumping. The dog adored Skulduggery and made a beeline for him, covering him in sloppy kisses while he scratched behind her ears.

"That we do. Who's my good girl?" He crooned and she flopped down, presenting her belly hopefully. Skulduggery chuckled and rubbed her belly, then she was on me before I could stop her, barking happily.

"Xena!" I squealed, but she was too smart to not know what had changed. I'd whispered _home_ under my breath as I'd thought it, and we were home now and a family.

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 **More to come?**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Ghastly, Anton Saracen, Dex or Xena. Yes, all the Dead Men are back, and they'll each get a turn to show what scary big brothers they are.

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We'd just settled in for a movie, Xena joining us on the sofa when there was a knock at the front door. Skulduggery motioned for me to stay put, but I trailed him, watching as he peered outside then opened the door to reveal a tall man, dressed in a black suit like a funeral director might wear. His face was long and chiseled, accented by his long black hair and his eyes were the color of steel. He looked at Skulduggery and I noted he wasn't smiling.

The two men stared at each other, and then the man steeped forward ominously, making Skulduggery retreat nervously. "Skulduggery." He growled. Then Anton was embracing him in a hug and my heart started beating again. "If you ever make Val cry I'll hide you in one of my secret rooms." He hissed and I watched Anton tighten the hug, drawing a squeak from Skulduggery.

Xena came trotting out and watched, puzzled. She knew Anton, she knew he was a good guy. She came to my side and we watched as Anton let Skulduggery go at last. He was still glaring a warning but smiled gently as he turned to me for a hug. I ran to him happily. "Anton!" I hugged him as hard as I could, but he was unfailingly gentle as he hugged me back.

"How come you aren't squeezing Val in a death grip?" Skulduggery whined, and we turned to look at him.

"Because I _like_ her." The tall man rumbled. He let me go at last, ruffling my hair affectionately.

"I do like you, you know. Come to think of it, you're the only Dead Man I _do_ like." He said kindly. I smiled in reply, Anton looked scary, and he could be more sarcastic and withering than Skulduggery, but he could be very sweet too.

"You came here to scare Skulduggery, didn't you?" I asked and he nodded happily.

"I fully intend to make him disappear if you want me to. One call, Valkyrie and the hidden rooms of the Midnight Hotel are at your disposal. Think of it like _Hostel_ , without all the subplot."

"What subplot?" I asked and he laughed

"I'm actually here to take you two out to dinner." Anton said. "Your brothers all want a chance to terrify Skulduggery, we're meeting in a tavern not far from here. Oh, Ghastly's driving, by the way. He wants Skulduggery to realize who is in charge here, and it isn't him."

"Fine way to treat your leader." Skulduggery grumbled as he got his coat, but he fell quiet in the van. All my brothers were there, waiting for me. And they were all clearly ready to kill Skulduggery if he so much as moved wrong.

"Val!" Saracen squeaked in a goofy voice, then crossed his eyes at me, making me laugh as I snuggled in between him and Dex. "We're here to kill Skulduggery, isn't that exciting?" He asked happily and I laughed harder.

Skulduggery, sitting shotgun next to Ghastly, slumped lower in his seat. "We're no angels, Val." Ghastly rumbled from the front. "Which is _exactly_ why Skulduggery is going to get terrorized tonight and like it. You aren't just some random girl, you're a Dead Man, you're one of us."

I grinned stupidly, I liked being back with the Dead Men again. Erskine tapped my shoulder. "You know, as the Grand Mage, I could also make him disappear. What do you say, Val?" He offered cheerfully and I laughed harder. Skulduggery was miserable and I was loving every second of it.

* * *

 **omg, this story is so much fun!**


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